Women’s leadership through the fight with fears: my personal experience

Marina Melnick
2 min readMay 5, 2022

When I was a child, I heard the phrase that you need to go where you feel scared. Somehow I remembered it vividly and this phrase became one of my life rules.

I remember how scared I was when I had to go to kindergarten. Terribly scared.

September 1. My knees were shaking, but this phrase sounded in my head: “Go where you feel scared.” And also I knew that I couldn’t show this fear.

Yes, I was afraid, but I had to go there and smile.

Then every time, when I had to perform in front of the people and I felt scared, incredibly scared, I used the rule from my childhood and just did what I had to!

I don’t know where I found this phrase or why my poor childish brain grasped it so tightly. This was my path.

Most likely, this phrase launched in me the process of becoming a leader.

Then it turned into passion.

In fact, it’s simple to explain. Our hormonal system starts working when we achieve something. Especially when you manage to overcome fears or achieve something while you’re scared.

We have plenty of dopamine, but our body wants more.

However, later the same achievement brings no dopamine. Therefore we climb where it will be scarier and where we can get more dopamine potentially.

The first successes will give you motivation, excitement and desire to move on.

You shouldn’t stand by trying to make your idea perfect or better shaped.

I won’t think for too long. If I have an idea, I will start working on it. Then it, perhaps, will fall off or will move to the box. However as soon as the idea comes to me, I give it some sort of birth. I will evaluate whether it’s viable and how to achieve it later.

Procrastinate less, do more.

This is about my leadership, but it’s not universal advice.

There are thoughtful, analytical, profound leaders. It may seem that they sit in complete inactivity for months and then come up with a thought or a breakthrough phenomenon.

There is no right or wrong way.

It’s my way: go through fear, don’t procrastinate and be proactive.

In the next post, I’ll tell you how to start when you’re scared.

Share your thoughts what motivates you to move and be leaders!

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Marina Melnick

Career Therapist. Agile Consultant. Leadership Coach. More: marmeliko.com