What to do if you can’t decide?

“Move E2E4, the rest is a necessity,” — this is exactly what my father taught me from childhood.

Take a step. One action, and then look. From this new point you can also take one step, then another. And do it again and again until you reach your goal.

Decisiveness is an acquired quality and I have some tips on how to develop it!

We aren’t born with this quality; we develop it throughout our lives. You can be the most courageous, but at some point there may be a hitch and making a decision will no longer be so simple.

Even I, with the inner position “I’ll try a bit, and then I see,” sometimes also need a lot of time to decide. But there are some life hacks.

I’ll start with my personal example — diving into the water upside down from a height, where each new hill will be more and more terrifying for me.

I can stand on the hill, look at it for a long time, get used to it, “take” it upside down. As soon as I get used to it, I jump upside down. But there is a prerequisite — to be able to jump like that.

Life hack: carefully get close to fear, and then take the main step.

For example, it is scary to organize a party for 100 people. Why not first do a trial event for 5–10 people or 2 girlfriends. Try to approach the planned goal gradually by getting used to doing such things.

When you’ve made a party for 2 people, you’ll automatically be no longer afraid to make it for 5. If you’ve made it for 5 people, there will be no fear of making it for 10–15.

Summary: when we are afraid of a big project, we need to reduce it. Try to decide on a similar thing, but in a smaller size.

Another life hack: remind yourself that this isn’t a matter of the whole life.

I’m not building a supercompany or an empire, I’m just doing a project. It can fail, which is typical for projects. At the same time, it can be successful.

Well, if I understand at the early stage that the project isn’t viable, I’ll either leave it until better times or completely close it. Or I’ll apply my project management skills and it will benefit the world.

Often we create an obstacle for ourselves on our own by adding an additional meaning to everything or giving it super significance.

“Oh my god, if he doesn’t go on a date with me, it’s all over.”

But if your paths don’t coincide, maybe that’s for the best. That’s how I look at it. I don’t have to try anything. It won’t work — so be it.

Summary: reduce the scale of the tragedy inside of you while the project can be the same size.

The partnership of two women at the beginning of something can also work very well.

But we’ll talk about that in the next story.

In the meantime, write in the comments your methods of dealing with fear. How do you decide on starting something?